Do Less, Be More

The Art of Achieving Inner Stillness

I’ll never forget that moment as long as I live. Pristine. Still. Silence. Standing in the midst of 150-foot pines, the only sound I could make out was the occasional chirp of a Black-capped Chickadee or a Lark Sparrow. Other than that, the silence was that which greeted my ears. Vast emptiness. Infinite stillness. Unimaginable beauty. As I climbed the rugged green landscape of the Vail, Colorado mountains through towering Douglas Furs, I stopped dead in my tracks when an impeccable site greeted my eyes — a sweeping valley of green Evergreens and Ponderosa Pines as long and high as the eye could see. It was that exact moment when something filled my body that I had never experienced before — true stillness. In that moment, I was engulfed in an immense fulfillment and peace that left me feeling as accomplished as though I had just scaled Mt. Everest.

It was that instant that I realized my mind was still. I had no racing thoughts. I wasn’t anxious. There was no fear. I didn’t feel alone. I was whole. Joyful. And content. To almost the point of tears. As I looked across the band of 14,000-foot mountains dotting the breathtaking sweeping landscape of Colorado, one thought entered my mind — “If today was my last day on Earth, I could leave completely at peace.” The relief that followed took my breath away. What was this stillness? Where did it come from? Up until that point in my life, I barely knew peace of mind. The stillness was there, but it had remained largely untapped.

Growing up, I was always excited and motivated about something — Exploring a new book. Diving into a particular sport. Memorizing a classical piano song. Motivation, inspiration, and passion weren’t things I lacked. The opposite was true. I was blessed with great role models who inspired me to set out every day with an adventurous spirit. Whether it was negotiating countless trades with peers during elementary school (puff balls in 1st grade, pencil lead in 2nd, pencil grips in 3rd, mechanical pencils in 4th) or running for 4th grade class representative on the slogan “Just Do It” after handing out 24 immaculate Nike tennis balls to my awed classmates, I took great pleasure in exploring new passions and embarking on the craziest of adventures.

By the time high school rolled around, my priorities had shifted. After growing up playing a variety of sports (golf, soccer, basketball, baseball), I now began to focus on the sport of tennis, an endeavor that led me to my first experience with a lack of stillness. When it came to tennis, my desire to succeed was enormous. So large in fact, that it became an obsession. My identity. Something that I poured every ounce of energy, effort, and determination into achieving. The more I played, the more mentally fearful I become. Soon enough, I found myself consumed with intense fear, anxiety, and doubt in practices and in matches. Tennis was no longer fun. It had become a mental war. However, I pushed on. My desire to improve, earn the respect of my peers, and prove to myself that I was great began to eat away at my own body and mind. It tore me apart.

Strained hip flexors from over-stretching. Blown up knees from too many wall sits. Bitter disappointment from taking the game too seriously. Shame and embarrassment after losses. I was not in a healthy mental or physical state. There was no worse feeling than walking off the tennis court devastated and humiliated after having lost another match due to my fear of failure or dread of being judged by others. The thoughts consumed me. The mental pain was unbearable. The stillness remained hidden. However, I pushed forward believing that hard work would lead to triumph, never fully realizing the mental pain I was inflicting upon myself.

It wasn’t until college that I began identifying my mental battles and started implementing concrete actions to address it. However, it had taken several months of painful loneliness to finally realize that if I wanted to find peace in my life, I needed to devote myself to quieting my mind.

As I began to embark on a journey of releasing thoughts, finding peace, and developing mindfulness practices that would cultivate greater stillness, I found it extremely difficult, especially the stillness. Why was this? When I look back on my journey as a tennis athlete, I realize now that I believed success was only possible through hard work and physical dedication to my craft — waking up at 5:30am, training for hours on end, stretching relentlessly, committing to restrictive diets. I committed unceasingly to the physical battles, but did so without thinking once about my mental state.

As a result of this obsession with improvement, I couldn’t sit still. I saw work as the only way to fulfillment and success. Work consumed me. I equated sitting still to laziness, an action that prevented improvement. A barrier to achieving my dreams. I couldn’t have been further from the truth. Peace of mind is the gateway to living out our dreams. Stillness is the key to improving one’s craft. Intentional mindfulness is the state that leads to fulfillment. I had bought into the societal narrative that over-working leads to success and as a result, I was miserable.

“Peace of mind is the gateway to living out our dreams. Stillness is the key to improving one’s craft. Intentional mindfulness is the state that leads to fulfillment.”

Fast forward to that beautiful summer morning in Vail, Colorado. It had been two years since I started college. Two years of daily meditation, gratitude journaling, reflection, and deliberate unpacking of the delicate baggage of fear within me. It was this moment that I first experienced the power of stillness. The joy of silence. The remarkable peace of a quiet mind. For the first time in my life, my thoughts weren’t racing. I had no fear. I was one with the moment. I was present. It was intoxicating, a feeling as though I was experiencing the pleasure of the universe.

Do less; be more. This has become one of my life mantras over the last several years. Ever since that moment of stillness in the summer of 2018, I’ve committed to daily practices that provide the opportunity to achieve greater stillness and peace. But it’s hard. I fall short all the time. Even though I now experience many positive thoughts, I struggle to not become occupied with all the aspirations of creativity and inspiration. Whether they’re positive or negative, thoughts still pull us in many directions. However, that’s where opportunity for growth arises. We ultimately choose whether to live in the mind or live a life from the heart.

Throughout this journey of experiencing, loving, and becoming one with my mind, I’ve realized that the stillness is where fulfillment lies. The quiet is where contentment exists. From this place of peace comes a creativity, clarity, and joy that compares to nothing else. Productivity, happiness, and our deepest longings arise from stillness. When we place intentional effort towards becoming one with our mind and letting our thoughts go, we receive a joy and fullness unlike anything we’ve ever experienced.

“The quiet is where contentment exists. From this place of peace comes a creativity, clarity, and joy that compares to nothing else. Productivity, happiness, and our deepest longings arise from the stillness.”

It’s paradoxical to the message we receive from society. By doing less, we actually achieve more. And more importantly, we find greater fulfillment and joy than any achievement, work, or accomplishment could ever bring us. Recently, I’ve began adopting a mindset of “intentional mindfulness,” the practice of truly becoming aware of my thoughts and, rather than immediately acting upon them, gently letting them go so that I can stay more present in each moment. You’d be surprised how easy it is to unconsciously direct our mental energy and attention towards a spontaneous thought. But our minds like to latch on to those thoughts of impulse. There’s no fault in that. Thoughts come and go. We can’t control which ones enter the mind at any point. However, it’s the constant rumination and ping pong from thought to thought that leads to the feelings of doubt.

I’ve never struggled more mentally than when I was thinking about an event in the past or in the future. It’s not a coincidence that we rarely feel deep dissatisfaction or intense negative emotions when we’re fully present in the current moment. Staying present. That is the recipe for fulfillment and happiness in our lives. At the end of the day, what more could we ask for? Adversity will come and go, but our response to the daily challenges is what ultimately defines our life on this Earth. We can choose to give in to thoughts. To let them pull us in a million directions. To let them control our life. Or we can let go. We can release control. We can wave good bye.

And it’s as simple as that. It truly is. Letting go starts with (1) recognizing the thoughts that arise in the mind (2) gently returning to the present moment. The freeness is extraordinary. I liken it to an awakening of sorts. A complete release into the river of thoughts that flows through our heads. The way we live our life stems from how we treat our mind. Intentional mindfulness is a lifelong practice. The more we embark on this journey of identifying thoughts and gently returning to the present, the easier it becomes. Living starts with mental health. A quiet mind is achieved through stillness. And from stillness arises the joy of the universe. What if I told you that intentional mindfulness might be the greatest investment of your life? Why not give it a try? You might just be surprised what you find.

Intentional Mindfulness Practices

• Deep Breathes: Throughout the day, stop to take 2–3 deep breathes when you notice your mind start to race or that you’ve begun to rush
• 10 Second Pockets: Take ten seconds to simply stop, close your eyes, catch your thoughts, and return to the present moment
• Guided Mediation: Begin or end your day with 5–10 minutes of guided meditation using apps such as Headspace, Calm, or Insight Timer
• Gratitude Journaling: Take five minutes at the end of your day to jot down specific moments of gratitude, an extremely grounding practice
• Breath Meditation: My meditation practice; During the inhale & exhale, I like to picture air molecules filling and leaving my nose
• 5 Sense Check-In: At any moment, stop what you are doing and gently check in with your senses. What do you feel? Smell? Taste? Hear? See?